Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Paul

Blue : Lemme have my moment of glory.
Axl : Fine. You had me.
B : Even I had me.
A : And then the war happened. Everyone lost some part of them.
B : Except for Paul.
A : That lucky bastard.
B : Fuckin Paul.
A : What does he do anyway?
B : He was the janitor at the nuclear waste disposal factory.
A : How the fuck did we manage to get outwitted by a janitor? I bet Paul's hoarding everything we lost. I hear he's a hoarder.
B : Reinforced lead-steel wall in the supply closet. What we lost, he gained.
A : Now he whizzes around on his broomstick.
B : Cleaning the floor.
A : While secretly plotting.
B : To clean the toilets early.
A : So that he can strategically plant and time the stink bombs to maximize their impact
B : On the upcoming diarrhea
A : Which would ultimately lead to a steep increase in his salary 
B : Which would in turn help his family of 12 children
A : Raise an army of dead fingers
B : And help them be born in a better world
A : Where they can command the respect they deserve.
B : But not Paul. He just wants to clean stuff I hear.
A : Paul's all about mops and broomsticks and candy
B : Kandy you mean? His wife?
A : Is that how it's spelt? Makes much more sense. Oh, and not to forget that tortoise of his. What was it called again?
B: Sir William Lancesalot. Not to be confused with his dog, Sir William Dancesalot.
A : Goddamnit! What was he thinking when he named them?
B : Wasn't his choice. His eldest named the beasts.
A : His pets recieved knighthood for their exemplary conduct from the queen of England herself.
B : And for good reason too. They played key role in the war.
A : I hear the dog danced it's way into the enemy camp and retrieved their nuclear launch codes.
B : Yeah, they couldn't resist his puppy doll face.
A : While the tortoise bit off the aglets of the terrorists' boots.
B : In counter-strike, yes. An avid pc gamer supposedly that beast.
A : Who would've thought? A tortoise that's usually revered to be a slow and gentle reptile would have such expertise at handling a pc game
B : I say it's Paul. He's good at teaching.
A : Shame, he didn't 'em to ninja kick the jaw off an opponent's skull. Fascinating to watch i tell you, jaw flying through the air.